


One Big Family

by Azureal1996



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: AU, Birthday, Docnut, F/F, Fluff, Lots of Oreos, M/M, Modern AU, Multi, Tuckington - Freeform, Yorth, cursing, family love, mute Lopez, non-canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-22
Updated: 2016-09-05
Packaged: 2018-05-15 11:25:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5783593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azureal1996/pseuds/Azureal1996
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sarge and Lopez are ready to adopt two boys now that they are retired from the UNSC and can't wait to see how they grow up. </p><p>It's Grif's eighteenth birthday and everyone is planning a huge party for him. </p><p>Modern AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure how long I am going to make this, but I'm hoping to get a good story going and branch off into random backstory and side stories. If you have any *friendly* critiques or even some prompts you would like to see written up, let me know! :D If you would like to see something expanded, let me know. Thank you for reading <3

Time seemed like it was rolling by as slow as cold molasses and Sarge couldn’t help but feel uneasy. He kept tugging at the collar of his fancy button up shirt that was completely out of character for him as he sat patiently in this office, waiting for Lopez to return. Looking around the room that he was sitting in, Sarge could see a little fish tank with some exotic fish that he didn’t really care for and a young couple that was currently staring at the fish while they waited to be called in after his companion returned. As time crawled on, Sarge picked up a magazine that he had stuffed in his jean pocket and began to read the most current issue of _Shotgun Weekly._ Just as he had gotten lost in the latest article on the greatness of shotguns, Sarge was snapped back to the present by the sound of his name being called by the child services agent that Lopez had left with and snapped to attention at the sight of who he was waiting for: Lopez and two young boys who had each shyly latched onto one of Lopez’s arms. The boy clinging to Lopez’s left arm was a tall and slender red headed boy child with plenty of freckles. He seemed like a sharp boy. The other boy hanging loosely on Lopez’s right arm had extremely tan skin, dark hair and was considerably shorter than the other boy. This boy gave off a carefree air and Sarge could already tell that they would probably butt heads down the road. Sarge wasn’t the type to get all emotional, that was a weakness that could be exploited in the battle field, but he decided that this was an appropriate time to let down his guard a little bit to welcome these two boys into the family.

 

**

 

“GRIF, YOU LAZY ASS! GET UP OR YOU’RE GOING TO BE LATE FOR SCHOOL!” With a swift yank the sheets flew off of the young man who was trying to pretend to still be asleep. It seemed as if Grif tried to pull this stunt every morning, although he had progressively gotten even lazier since starting his senior year of high school.

 

“Dad, it’s my god damn birthday! Can’t I just sleep in for once?” Grif mumbled as he continued to cuddle with his pillow and scrunched his face in disdain of the sun peeking through the blinds. Sarge grunted in disapproval and promptly lifted his foot to kick Grif out of his bed. Before he could he register what was going on, Grif found himself in a pile on the freezing cold floor and quickly shot to his feet so that the floor didn’t siphon anymore of the body heat he had been trying to hold on to. “You are such a hard ass! Can you at least leave so that I can get dressed?” Grif tried to mutter under his breathe so that his Dad couldn’t hear but in his laziness didn’t quite tone it down enough “All I wanted to do today was watch some TV and eat some Oreo’s. Can’t I even have that on my eighteenth birthday?” Sarge shot him a look of annoyance but promptly did an about face, walking out the door and shutting it behind him.

 

  
Simmons was already downstairs eating breakfast with Lopez when Sarge made it down from his morning wake up routine. Lopez signed good morning and gave Sarge a light kiss on the forehead as he handed him his breakfast. With slightly flushed cheeks Sarge whispered in Lopez’s ear “I thought we agreed not to show PDA in front of the kids,” and he just chuckled as he ruffled Sarge’s hair and walked back into the kitchen. Breakfast this morning was a well done steak with scrambled eggs, one of his favorite breakfasts. Today was going to be a good day and it had only just begun.

 

***

 

_Ugh. I hate when they get so affectionate so early in the morning._  Simmons was studying for his morning chemistry class while eating his cereal and couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable as he witnessed the forehead kiss between his parents so early in the morning. Deciding to phase them out, Simmons looked around to see if his lazy bones brother had made it downstairs. Today was Grif’s birthday so he figured that his brother wouldn’t be making it out of bed but considering the rather loud thump he heard not too long ago Sarge must have kicked him out of his bed. Simmons couldn’t help but snort at the thought of his fat-ass brother getting out of bed, grumbling and complaining about how he deserved to sleep in on his birthday. In their family, insults were a form of endearment which people thought was awful but they didn’t give a flying fuck what other people thought. Even if it wasn’t verbally spoken all the time everyone in this family loved one another. The only person who had a reason for not being verbally kind was Lopez because he couldn’t actually speak so he signed everything. Although it was hard sometimes, being able to understand and speak in sign was a helpful skill to know. The only people who spoke with kindness in this house were Uncle Donut and Uncle Doc, who weren’t actually related to them but were roommates. They knew Lopez back when him and Sarge were still in the military and when they retired they just all decided to live together. The four of them were truly an odd combination to see living together. If Doc and Donut were to be described in one word it would be lovers. They are light hearted, peace loving individuals with an eye for anything and everything they deemed to be ‘fabulous’.

 

As if on demand a cheery, blue eyed, pink haired Donut skipped down the hall into the kitchen to make his grandiose entrance, “Good morning dearies! I hope you all got your beauty sleep because today is a very special day!” and with that he glanced around the room only to pout when he failed to find who he was looking for “Where is little Griffy? I wanted to give him a big ol’ birthday hug to celebrate his eighteenth birthday.”

 

“Donut, Grif is still the fat ass he always has been and that isn’t going to change on his eighteenth birthday. He’s slowly making his way downstairs. Dad just kicked him out of bed.”

 

Doc made his way into the kitchen which is starting to reach full capacity and embraces Donut in a loving hug from behind and had just caught the end of Simmons’ statement “Goodness, that was an awful way to wake him up in the morning,” he turned with a scornful look to Sarge “couldn’t you have been kinder to your son on his birthday? No need to be so rough all the time.”

 

Sarge just gave a gruff, hearty laugh and replied, “That boy needs a good ass kicking every once in a while. If he wasn’t so god damn lazy and got himself out of bed I wouldn’t have to kick him. Next time I’ll bring my handy shotgun with me and maybe that’ll encourage him to get up.”

 

Donut and Doc simultaneously gave a disapproving _tsk_ and went about making their own gourmet breakfast. The kitchen was lively place in the morning and Simmons wouldn’t have it any other way. The kitchen was overflowing with delicious and savory smells and Simmons caught a whiff of a familiar and disgusting scent intermingled, it was like hell decided to poke its nasty head into his little slice of heaven. The smell was Grif’s favorite birthday breakfast: deep fried Oreos with a side of Oreos and some French toast and a special concoction of Oreo syrup that Lopez created just for him on the side. _SO DISGUSTING_. Simmons thought as he tried to swallow the bile that had risen in his throat. As he tried to shut down his olfactory system to avoid the horridly sweet smell of his brothers breakfast, Simmons finally saw the birthday boy slowly making his way down the staircase with his hair in a messy bun, a crinkled tee and jeans that he has worn for the past three days. _Oh my god, he can’t even dress decently on his own birthday._ “Hey Grif, happy eighteenth birthday fat ass! Try not to eat the whole cake at once tonight,” Simmons tried to contain his laughter as he yelled at his brother and Grif promptly flipped him off and went straight to the kitchen counter to sit down and wait for breakfast. As Grif sat down, Sarge walked over to give him a noogie and said happy birthday while Lopez handed him his breakfast and gave him a hug and kissed his forehead. Simmons knew that today was going to be a great day, especially with what they had planned for his brother.

 

**

 

“Fuck yeah, thanks Dad! This is my favorite breakfast.” Grif probably would have squealed like a little girl if he wasn’t afraid of Sarge pummeling him for being a sissy and the inevitable cooing that would come from Donut for embracing his feminine side. Lopez signed “You’re welcome” and went back to the kitchen to clean the morning’s dishes. Grif grabbed his food and started shoveling it into his mouth and couldn’t believe how amazing this Oreo feast was even though he has had it every year since being adopted by his parents and he didn’t feel like it would ever lost its grandeur. Today Grif was going to do whatever he wanted because it was his god damn eighteenth birthday and he deserved to spend it however he saw fit. Well, except he had to go to school because his fucking dad wouldn’t let him sleep in. _What a hard ass. I wish he didn’t try to raise us like a sergeant. He isn’t in the UNSC anymore. I guess he wants the best for us but holy hell I wish he’d at least ease up for today._  Grif finished the last bite of his birthday breakfast, grabbed his backpack and headed towards the door. His dads were waiting for him and Simmons was already outside in the car, being the goody two shoes kiss-ass that he is. Sarge gave grif a hearty punch on the shoulder and a pat on the back and Lopez signed him “Have a good day at school. Love you” as he gave him a passing side hug and with that, Grif walked out the door. _Today is going to be the best day._


	2. Meeting the Gang

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry that it is taking forever to update this story. University has just been kicking my rear end. I am going to add bits and pieces to this chapter as I can and it is going to introduce the rest of the Blood Gulch Crew, the Freelancers and relevant Chorus lovelies. I hope you all enjoy the story as I piece it together and I would love constructive criticism and thank you for previous comments!

The drive to school was always enjoyable, especially since Grif reveled in the fact that he didn’t have to smell the god awful scent of adolescent teenage angst on the bus. Originally Sarge insisted that Grif should just start jogging to school to get his ass in shape if he didn’t want to ride the bus, but luckily Lopez coaxed him into investing into a military styled Jeep which Grif appreciated purely because he got to finally use his driver’s license. It seemed like him and Simmons were the last seniors in the entire school to get a car. When he finally meandered into the student service office to buy his parking pass the residing office asshole, Andy, had laughed at him for buying his pass so late. It was amazing that Andy never got fired, he had awful people skills but it was probably because Chorus High was a low end high school that most people had never even heard of and because he was the principles cousin. Whatever, it’s not like he visited the student services often anyway so he didn’t see that asshat very often.  
The hum of the fire engine red Jeep had a calming effect on Grif, although he found most things calming since he was in a constant state of relaxation, don’t want to use more energy than he has to at any point in time. Simmons was reading an advanced calculus book in the passengers seat and Grif couldn’t help but sigh, “God damn Simmons. You really are a nerd at all times aren’t you?” and he cast an amused glance at his brother before returning his eyes to the road. 

There was silence for a few seconds as Simmons finished his overly complicated math problem and shot Grif a matter of fact death glare, “I do my homework because that is what I am SUPPOSED to do jackass. Also, one of us needs to graduate and get a decent job to make our dads proud.” 

Grif smirked and kept cruising down the road in no particular hurry to get to class. 

The crisp morning air embraced Grif as he opened the Jeep door and stepped outside. His body felt tense from driving and he arched his back as he raised his arms in a stretch and before he knew what was happening he was lifted into the air by what felt like a bear.

“GRIFF! IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY! OH! I AM JUST SO EXCITED FOR YOU FRIEND!” 

Grif couldn’t help but squeeze out a wheeze laugh as he was being hugged so tight that he could barely breathe. “Thanks Caboose. C-could you, uh, let go buddy? I c-can’t really breathe.” 

After another quick squeeze, Caboose released his friend and sprinted to the other side to capture Simmons in his unearthly strong hug. Grif just started to chuckle as he saw Simmons eyes grow wide and he made a sharp turn in the opposite direction of Caboose and sprinted for the school doors to escape as the gentle bear of a man chased after him. Every morning was an adventure with Caboose around and if Caboose was here that meant that… 

“Hey fatass. Happy birthday. Now get out of my fucking way. Caboose couldn’t find his god damn pants this morning and made us late,” yep, that meant that Church wasn’t far behind. The unusual duo went everywhere together, it was like they were joined at the hip sometimes. Church and Caboose currently live together. Apparently Church’s father is loaded and pays the rent for his apartment, which doesn’t bother either of them since they don’t get along with each other. At the beginning of freshman year Caboose immediately attached himself to Church, claiming he was his best friend and despite what he says, Church seems to have taken a liking to the big, clumsy goof that is Caboose. Around sophomore year Caboose moved in with Church because of some drama in Caboose’s life and they have lived together like an unlikely married couple ever since. It was fucking adorable honestly. 

“Thanks asshole. Nice to see you too.” Grif pat Church on the shoulder and walked alongside him towards to the school building.

Simmons was long gone by the time Grif and Church made it to the front door and he was actually surprised considering that Simmons is an out of shape nerd to his core. Unsurprisingly, Caboose was camped just inside the school doors waiting like a big, dorky puppy for his number one best friend to arrive. 

“Church! I am so happy you are here. Mr. Tomato* is really good at playing hide and seek and I could not find him. I will just have to hug him later.” Caboose seemed to sink down in defeat, only temporarily though as he quickly sprung back to life and rushed over to Church to interlock their elbows together. With an exasperated sigh, Church resigned to his friends shenanigans and led Caboose and himself down the hall as fast as he could so as to not miss anymore of the first class period. 

The hallways of Chorus High were hauntingly quiet as Grif stood there alone. Well, he thought he was alone until he heard the annoying voice of someone he had hoped he wouldn’t run into.

“Dexter Grif. You know that you are supposed to be in class right now. I suggest you head to whatever class you have for first period before I have to write you up for skipping class.”

For fuck’s sake, David Washington was the last person the he wanted to run into right now. Wash, as most of his friends knew him, was the senior class hall monitor and did an annoyingly efficient job of monitoring the halls. 

Grif nonchalantly shrugged his shoulders and lifted his hands mockingly “Well if it isn’t king party pooper himself here to rain on my parade. Don’t you have somewhere to be? Like making out with your boyfriend or something?”

Immediately, Wash’s pale freckled turned a bright shade of red. He started fumbling on his words as he tried to reply, “W-wh-what? I don’t have a boyfriend and you know that! Even if I did, that’s irrelevant to this conversation and you n-need to get to class. Now!”

Teasing Wash was an incredibly easy feat, especially since everyone in the entire school knew he was head over heels for the senior class’s most annoying flirt, Lavernius Tucker. Wash refuses to admit it though and Tucker talks a big game but is a giant dunce when it comes to realizing someone actually likes him. Currently, Grif has a running bet with Simmons that Tucker will be the one to ask Wash first, while Simmons is rooting for poor love-struck Wash. 

“Fine, fine. I’ll walk to class tight ass.” Grif promptly turned around, flipped Wash off and leisurely made his way to first period.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Caboose calls Simmons "Mr. Tomato" because of how often Simmons face turns an ungodly shade of bright red when he is embarrassed or nervous, which is quite often.


	3. Set Up Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good lord. I am so sorry for taking forever to write another chapter. Life has been really, really busy and I'm finally able to start writing again. I hope everyone enjoys the new chapter and any comments are constructive criticism are welcome!

God damn it! Caboose is so fast. Simmons leaned against the bathroom stall, catching his breath after sprinting insanely through the school halls. Luckily, Caboose got confused easily so he didn’t follow him very far and Simmons was able to escape the embrace of death. Although he wasn’t fond of running away from Caboose, at least it had actually been helpful this morning because it allowed him to get away from Grif so that he could initiate operation “Kick Ass Surprise Party” which sounded lame, but it really wasn’t. 

Opening up the stall, he took a swift glance to make sure Caboose hadn’t found his way into the bathroom and then proceeded to leave once he knew the coast was clear. Simmons now had to make his way to the gym where he was meeting with everyone to plan Grif’s surprise party. 

**

The hallways were usually empty and that made his job relatively easy, but every once in a while a trouble maker could be found meandering around trying to avoid classes and that always threw a wrench in David Washington’s almost perfect surveillance of the hallways. Grif was one of the most frequent meanderers and it drove Washington up the wall. Sometimes it amazed Wash that they even got along enough to be friends. Despite the fact that he is lazy, doesn’t apply himself to his education, has poor choice in music and is obsessively obscene, Wash likes how Grif loves cats more than dogs and actually admires that he sticks to his guns so adamantly which is why he was more than happy to assist Simmons with planning and setting up his birthday party for tonight. 

Almost as if on que Wash’s replacement came to relieve him of his hall monitor shift for the day. Locus was an intimidating senior, he is a little taller than Wash, with dark brown hair that he styles in a bun, and he can’t help but wonder how he got that gnarly scar going from above his right eye down to his cheek. 

“You are dismissed Washington.” Locus always made it a point to be blunt during conversations. Actually, he was so straight to the point that conversations never really lasted long. A chuckle escaped Wash as he thought about Locus’s directness and how it runs in direct contrast to his boyfriend’s personality. Felix is the most annoying punk in the entire school and enjoys picking fights and pranking unsuspecting victims. It is truly amazing that Felix and Locus work so well together. 

“Thank you Locus,” Wash handed his hall monitor pass and tacky little ticket book to Locus and smiled, “Don’t have too much fun walking the halls.” Locus just gave a blank stare of unamusement, causing Wash to nervously laugh under his breath and speed walk away towards the gym. 

The one sure fire thing about meeting in the gym was that everyone knew Grif would never walk in on them planning his surprise party since he avoided anything to do with exercise like the plague. Walking into the gym Wash grinned as he immediately started recognizing the faces of his friends. On his right Utah and Georgia are working together on making “Happy Birthday Grif” banners, which look amazing. The two banner painters catch Wash’s gaze and quickly wave their hands to say hi and he grins as he returns a wave. Those two were always working together and might be the most functional couple that he knew. 

It seems as if Simmons has set up different work stations around the gym for people to work at, which is unsurprising knowing Simmons. Utah and Georgia were working at station one at the front right corner of the gym. Wash made his way to station two at the back right gym corner to find North, York and South working on game ideas.

“Come on North, beer pong is a classic party game! We can’t have an eighteenth birthday party without a little alcohol. Don’t be such a mom!”

“Now South, there’s a reason for the minimum drinking age and we don’t need alcohol to have fun.”

“North, babe, you really could lighten up sometimes. I agree with South on this one. Having a little bit of alcohol wouldn’t kill us this one time.”

Apparently Wash had walked in on South and York trying to convince North to include alcohol in the party games. York and North complement each other quite well: York’s spontaneity and mischievous nature work together with North’s patience and understanding. 

*CRASH* 

A loud noise came from the back left corner of the gym and Wash rushed over to make sure everything was okay. What awaited him made his insides hurt because of the uncontrollable laughter that ensued. Maine was crouched on the floor growling, holding his bleeding finger which looked fairly painful. Apparently C.T. had accidentally tripped on some decorating beads that Florida dropped on the ground while she was holding the party utensils, including a knife to cut the cake, and Maine tried to catch everything before they fell to the ground including the knife. The knife cut Maine’s hand and as it startled him he fell into a pile of empty boxes.

“Maine, oh my god. I am so sorry! I didn’t see those beads there and…Hell, you’re bleeding. I’ll go get a Band-Aid,” and with that C.T. ran off to find a medical kit. Maine just grunted a sign of acknowledgement and as C.T. ran off Maine noticed Wash laughing at the scene before him. Wash could not control his laughter and as he was trying to catch his breath he saw Maine approach him with quite the death glare and promptly punched him in the shoulder. It hurt like hell, but the amusement from before numbed the pain a little. “Sorry bud, that was just quite the scene. I hope your finger feels better soon,” Wash patted Maine on the shoulder as he just glared in disapproval and then he moved on to the last station. 

Wyoming and Florida were the odd seniors of the bunch. They tended to just stay together and Florida always creeped Wash out, while Wyoming was just annoying with his constant knock-knock jokes. The two oddballs were in charge of the general decorations: putting the balloons up, decorating the walls, setting up the disco ball and things like that. Wash wasn’t entirely sure what the theme of this party was, but he did know there was going to be loud music, friends and tons of food. He wasn’t really in the mood to talk to either Wyoming or Florida so he just waved at them and headed towards Simmons.

As Wash approached the center station he noticed how the Simmons was incredibly sweaty. 

“I really hope Grif will show up. He better not refuse to move his lazy ass to the gym. Maybe this wasn’t a good ide…,” Wash came up behind Simmons and cut him off mid thought hoping to calm him down.

“Relax Simmons. Grif is going to love this party. He may not say it directly, but he’s going to be able to see all the time and effort you put into making his day special,” Wash noticed a visible decrease in Simmons anxiety and it put him at ease as well, Simmons has a way of sharing his anxiety with those around him. 

“Thanks Wash. I just wish that everyone was able to make it to help set up. Carolina, Tex and 479’er would have been a real help but I understand that they couldn’t make it since they are busy with school council stuff and whatnot. At least they’ll be here tonight, as well as a few other friends.” 

There was a lot of work to do before the big party tonight and Wash was ready to help in any way he could. “No problem Simmons. Let’s get to work. What can I help with?”


End file.
